Umesh Upaadyay shares
How well do you know yourself?
How well do you know yourself?
Well, this is not the questions of those types, which means, who are you? What is your sole purpose? Why are you born and related ones.
Let us jump these off, sounding philosophical questions and at times the question which people may just ask off track from actually realizing what they’ve asked.
Coming back, so what’s a big deal in knowing self? You may ask and in the same breath state, you know yourself completely. You very well know, who you are, when were you born, what all do you like and your dislikes are, how good you are in mathematics, who is your favorite actor, what happens when someone scolds you or when do you get angry and many more.
Knowing these, does that make you complete? Does this still address, who you really are? Are these the constituents who you are? You may ponder a bit and the answer would be, no, maybe not, not completely etc.
You may argue and ask, so do I need to examine my life, in detail, your way?
No, there is nothing like my way or your way. Knowing self here is more in terms of your mental and emotional self or the psychological self of yours. Yes, obviously, I am not referring to those trivial things and knowledge which doesn’t hold much relevance.
Know yourself, in terms of what goes within you at mental and emotional levels. What shape have you formed at these levels and it comes up again and again as set pattern when you are upset, angry, frustrated, dejected, the perspectives which gets formed, the emotions which flows down, the beliefs which have taken shape, the fear that has gripped you, the unstated and illogical reasoning you develop in any situation, how you manage your relationships, the logical and rationale thinking of yours and many-many more. The point is have you paid enough attention to these formations, patterns and actions appropriately?
Alright, but then I am fine in managing myself, you may say. To err is human.
Why do I still need to participate in any such exercise, even if it is to do with me ?
Fine, then you do not pay attention on self.
Well, then would you like to pay attention to these aspects in others, so that your co-existence really ROCKS! Can you fix these aspects in others then? If your own mind doesn’t listen to you, then do you think you would be able to influence others, so that they start to conduct themselves appropriately, so that in return your life gets a smooth sailing in every dealing in the outside world? NO.
Self-Knowledge gives us an understanding of the gaps within, which once realized and worked upon, paves the way toward contentment and lasting happiness. Self knowledge increases the probability of reduction in same errors. Self-knowing helps in overcoming uncontrolled conditioning, which occurred unconsciously, most of the time and it has now become permanent.
Self-Knowledge gives better insight in formulation of life goals through most appropriate choices.
Alright, but then what all are the areas which this Self Knowledge helps in? The benefits, I receive.
Because of our mental conditioning, our perspectives, approach and actions would almost be similar from the way the situation or people were managed in the past. It is always like this. This would again give same responses, on the actions one takes.
This may impact areas of career, profession, managing relationships, managing finances, overcoming situations and more.
But, then, I find it hard to understand self, than to judge someone very easily. Why is it so?
Indeed, it is definitely a task which requires efforts of different kind. This is because it has never been in our experience so far. When a child starts to develop self in the early years, physically, mentally and emotionally, the mental wiring starts to take shape unconsciously in the bounds of overall environment through each and every experiences of life and the education – formal and informal learning. Those are naturally not the years for these self knowing to take place. This is how we’ve been designed by nature and this is a natural process. However, what still lies within reach is the environment within which one gets to take shape. This decides and dictates the future of a being whether it would be fairly easy or difficult to know self.
Our thoughts, thinking, feelings, emotions and actions swirl around what we get conditioned in. Infact, for ease of understanding we know that we have our conscious and subconscious mind; but in reality it is not fixed in terms of the information what it carries. The information keeps on shuffling between these two. Yes, it is the mind which controls a greater part of our being, but the mind is a very sophisticated, though complex and subtle system in itself. It has greater variants which enables one to perceive and take action as it also adds the “I” part of one, which then swings behavior and forms patterns.
Having said so, the thought itself of self introspection doesn’t come in easily. Even if it comes, it becomes difficult what to do next, where to start and how to conclude. Ironically, this thought when comes in also, gets dealt with our conscious mind. Then comes the self bias of arriving at judgement about self; be it positive or not so good, basis our frame of mind and emotional state.
So, what do I do now? How do I seek to know more about me?
Self Knowledge is all about spending time on self. This could be with someone to seek assistance and get an unbiased perspective or by self. Even before you embark on this journey, you need to be mentally ready to confront self, before self. You need to be ready to accept the way you are and prepared to attempt to carve out the very best of you, consciously, this time.
Knowing self starts with getting to know self, more; more in depth this time. Attempting to look at any prevalent pattern in one given area; for example, pattern in the area of managing professional or personal relationships. Just one at a time, but in detail.
Ask questions to self and try to find answers, which are simple statements about you, but are not judgments about you. There would also not be any need to assume on others behalf when you are doing self introspection in a relationship. If you think and feel that yes, your approach has been or it was like this in a particular situation then do make a note of it, without discarding it. Being completely open here is the best thing you can keep on reminding self. This gives room for right thoughts to come in and make you unwind self to see well.
Self knowing is not a onetime process. This does not become an exclusive exercise if one starts to stay aware and act consciously, every time. Repeated attempt to act consciously, every time has the potential to re-wire self, from within, at core; from where it all originates.
Self knowing takes you off, re-thinking on your actions and keeps you in present, at ease.